


Acceptance

by bisexualvikingking



Series: Rewrite the Stars [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, First Kiss, Fluff, Implied Stenbrough, M/M, background benverly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 22:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20896895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualvikingking/pseuds/bisexualvikingking
Summary: Four years after killing Pennywise, the Losers Club are ready to begin their lives outside of Derry. Eddie’s letter arrives in the mail, and with it some realizations about his best friend.AU where they kill It the first time in 1989 and retain all their memories of each other and that summer.





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this au is where they beat It in 1989 (following the new 2017 timeline) and get to grow up together as teens/young adults. This is just the first fic in a new college au/verse, so enjoy!

** _1993_ **

Eddie took another hit from his inhaler, holding the medicine inside like a secret for a heartbeat, then another, and another, before slowly exhaling, trying to focus on making his hands stop trembling. He was alone in the clubhouse, waiting for the rest of the Losers with just his thoughts and the white envelope in his lap. An envelope that was suspiciously heavy and thick, a thought he tried not to dwell on.  _ Surely that’s a good sign? If they rejected you, it’d be a lot thinner. _ Somehow the idea only made him more anxious.

Summer was fast approaching, and with it college. Most of the group had already applied for various schools, but so far only Mike had heard anything back. He’d be starting at the University of Florida in the fall to major in history and education. Eddie himself had applied locally for his mother’s sake, but he hadn’t told her about this one. The only one that mattered.

He jumped when the trap door swung open, sunshine flooding in and illuminating floating dustmotes. “Jesus Christ Tozier, you gave me a fucking heart attack,” he grumbled as long legs descended down the rickety wooden ladder.  _ Ben should really fix that. That’s gotta be a safety violation of some kind. _ Richie only laughed, and Eddied gulped as he felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach start up again.

Richie had grown a lot since the fateful summer they killed It. For starters he was taller now,  _ much _ taller, the top of Eddie’s head only reaching his chin. Long black hair curled wildly at his shoulders, framing his pale, beautiful face. The two had always been closer than the rest, spending countless nights together reading comics under the covers; Eddie listening to Richie practice his jokes and impersonations while he offered advice and support; lazy afternoons spent in the hammock that they were definitely too big for now, their legs entwined and Eddie’s head on Richie’s chest, listening to the rumble of his voice as they talked about their dreams for the future, slender fingers stroking Eddie’s hair. He had never felt this way about anyone else, especially not any of the other Losers. Had never ached for their touch or the sounds of their voices. But Richie was different. He had spent many sleepless nights thinking about the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating on the pitcher’s mound when it was the bottom of the ninth and the bases were loaded; how his jersey was loose enough to billow when he ran, glimpses of his chest and collarbone flashing seductively; how tight those pants were, how they clung to the curve of his ass and his long, muscular legs--

_ Stop. _ Eddie swallows, realizes he’s staring and feeling fire ignite underneath his skin. Realistically he knows that what he feels is love and lust (a lot of lust actually) but as usual Eddie pushes it away. He could never be with him, could never tell Richie how he felt, and not just because he was scared it would ruin their friendship. He was a  _ guy _ , and in this town being a man involved with another man was a death sentence. He had grown up hearing about how it was a  _ disease, _ that it was  _ dirty, _ how  _ sinful _ gay people were. He couldn’t put Richie through all of that.  _ Besides, _ Eddie thinks bitterly,  _ he could never feel the same way. He deserves so much better. _

“Aw I’m sorry Eds,” Richie croons as he saunters towards the boy sitting in the hammock. He wore his favorite black Queen shirt and ripped dark jeans, rough and rumpled and  _ gorgeous _ . Warmth floods Eddie as he approaches, and it's quickly snuffed out when he flops down next to him, causing the hammock to swing and buck wildly.

“Don’t call me Eds!” he shouted, glaring at Richie. “You know I hate it when you call me that.” He can’t stay mad for long though, especially when the raven-haired boy wraps an arm around his shoulders and hugs him close to his side. Their faces are so close, lips only inches apart, and Eddie’s mahogany gaze drifts down to his mouth and lingers there.  _ I could kiss him right now, if I really wanted to. If he’d let me. _

“Oh whatever Eddie Spaghetti, we both know how much you love it.” His voice is little more than a purr, cerulean eyes meeting his as he looks back up. He brushes some loose strands of hair from in front of Eddie’s eyes, fingertips caressing down the edge of his face. They linger there on his jaw, and now his heart is racing, slamming desperately against his ribcage like a frightened bird. He needs his inhaler but it's in his backpack and he can’t move,  _ won’t _ move.  _ I do, I do love you. _

As quickly as it starts, its over as Richie spots the letter in his lap. “Is that what I think it is?” He drops his hand, still keeping his arm around the slender young man. “When’d you get it?”

“This morning. I snatched it before Mom could see it.” He laughs nervously to cover the way his voice trembles.

“And you haven’t opened it yet?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I wanted you to be here. A-All of you,” he adds hastily, turning back to stare at his lap. “I figured that I’d want everyone here when I got the bad news.”

“Hey. You don’t know that.” Richie’s voice is soft and uncharacteristically serious. “Look at me.” His hand cups Eddie’s cheek, turning him to look up at him. “You’re so fuckin’ smart, much smarter than you give yourself credit for. You’re kind, and brave, and they’d be lucky to have you. And if they say no, then fuck ‘em.”

Eddie laughed softly, his heart racing even faster now. “You mean that?” He meets Richie’s gaze, noticing the blush that paints his pale skin, his eyes wide, how the space between them was even smaller now. He swallows, Eddie absolutely mesmerized by the way his throat bobs, before replying.

“I do,” he breathes. He finally--mercifully, regretfully--leans back. “After all, who outsmarted a fucking demon clown from outer space when he was thirteen?” He grins widely when Eddie rolls his eyes.

“I did.”

“ And who’s been surviving with that beautiful, voluptuous Sonia without having a stroke yet?”

This time Eddie barks out a laugh. “Voluptuous? Have you been hanging out with Bill lately? I didn’t know you knew such big words.” Richie scowls and wraps his arm tighter around his neck, pulling him in and ruffling his hair. Eddie shouts, grabbing Richie’s sides and digging his fingers into his ribs.

“You little turd!” The squeal makes Eddie grin wickedly, tickling Richie even more.

“Can you two just chill for like, five minutes?” Both boys jump when they hear Stan’s voice. Richie lets go of Eddie, their faces still flushed, hair sticking out in every direction, and turned to face the newcomer. Stan rolled his eyes as he turned to face him, though there was a small smile on his face. His auburn curls had darkened dramatically over the years, and his eyes a little less bright as well. The fight with It had changed all of them but it seemed like Stan had taken everything the hardest. He was the most logical, seeing the world in terms of black and white, good and evil, fact and fiction. So the appearance of this demon alien thing had shook him to his core. He had admitted to Eddie late one night that he had started meeting with a therapist twice a month and began taking antidepressants. Sometimes it seemed like it helped but other days, like today, it hardly put a dent in it.

“Richie? Eddie? Knowing how to chill at all? Highly unlikely.” Beverly and Ben soon joined them, Ben reaching up to offer a hand to Bev to steady herself with. They smiled warmly at each other, and jealousy nipped at Eddie despite himself. The two had been dating since Bev had moved back to Derry at the beginning of senior year, and the two were head over heels for each other. Eddie only wished he could have something like that someday.

“Aw but you love us Bev!” Richie yelled cheekily. Stan rolled his eyes and beelined for the coffee tin where they kept their anti-spider shower caps. Bill and Mike arrive last, deep in conversation over the most recent book they’d read. Eddie notices how Stan’s shoulders stiffen at the sound of Bill’s voice, cheek twitching slightly., before walking to the otherside of the underground clubhouse. Bev’s eyebrow raised, mirroring Eddie’s thoughts:  _ What’s going on between them? _

“What’d you wanna talk about Eddie?” Ben asks, leaning back against the earthen wall. Ben had probably changed the most out of everyone here: he’d gotten taller than even Richie, with tanner skin and dark hair, and he’d lost a bunch of weight after joining the track team freshman year. He was still the same gentle, even sensitive, boy who had joined them in the Barrens all those years ago though. Eddie’s heart pounds as he holds up the letter in response.

Everyone goes silent, their eyes focusing in on the object in his hand. Bev is the first to speak up. “Is that from your dream school?” she asks, clear blue eyes sparkling. He nodded weakly and she’s beaming now. “Well don’t keep us waiting! Open it up!”

Anxiety fills him as he thumbs at the flap of the envelope.  _ What if they said no, stop pulling our leg? _ Richie’s hand is on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Its okay to be scared,” he murmurs, quiet enough for only Eddie to hear. Their eyes meet. “Whatever happens, we’ll be okay.”

His heart soars and Eddie finally tears the letter open with shaking fingers. The air is thick and heavy with anticipation, breaths held as he pulls the first letter out. His mouth goes dry, and he swallows hard with a dry click. Richie peeks over his shoulder, and normally Eddie would push him away but he’s frozen in shock. “You gonna keep us hanging dude?” Mike prompts. A smile splits his freckled face and Eddie clears his throat before speaking up.

“Dear Mr. Kaspbrak.” His voice is shaking, Richie grinning next to him as he continues. “On behalf of the faculty and staff at NYU School of Medicine, I am pleased to inform you of your acceptance to our university.”

“Holy shit!” Its Ben, jumping up and rushing to him. Cheers and shouts of delight echo as they all run to Eddie, hugging him close, crowding the hammock and making it cry out in protest. Bev kisses his cheek, Richie’s shouting in his ear next to him, even Stan grinning and reaching out to squeeze his hand. Eddie blinks and realizes he’s crying, laughing breathlessly as he wipes his face. The rest of the letter is the standard thing: mail your response by this date, the dates of campus tours, an advisor’s phone number and email. Ben offers to go with him to the library to look up everything he’d need later, tomorrow maybe, and Eddie agrees distractedly.

Richie presses his forehead against his temple, lips brushing over his hair as he whispers “I’m so proud of you Eds.” Eddie smiles and blushes as Richie squeezes him again, shouting “I fucking told you you’d get in! Why’d you ever doubt me? The all-knowing Tozier?” Eddie shakes his head as Bev  _ beep beeps _ Richie, and the Losers take that as their cue to let him go.

“Congrats man,” Bill says from his place next to Stan. Their shoulders are touching, the back of his hand brushing against the jewish teen’s knuckles and Eddie swears he can see pink staining Stan’s cheeks and throat. “It's about time you got out of this shithole town.”

“You’re not kidding,” he replies, looking down in disbelief and wonder at the letter. New York City was hundreds of miles away, a promise of change, opportunity, anonymity. Away from backwoods towns tainted with evil and hate that had been there long before and long after Pennywise had hidden in its shadow. Far away from the smothering grasp of his mother and her anxious hand-wringing, her constant what-ifs and worst case scenarios. He definitely wouldn’t miss that.

The Losers settle in on the random cushions that they had decorated the hideout with, conversation turning to complaints of schoolwork, papers due and exams that were coming up. Eddie would miss them when they all went off to their own schools, scattered across the country as they got as far away from Derry, Maine as physically possible. He knew Ben and Bev wanted to go to California, Stan was applying for schools in Massachusetts and Vermont, Mike would go away to Florida, and Bill was thinking about college anywhere on the East Coast. That only left Richie--

_ Richie. _ The realization hits him hard, sucker punching him in the gut and taking his breath away. He glances at the dark-haired teen from the corner of his eye, feeling his heart squeeze painfully. Going to New York would mean leaving Richie behind, considering how much he hated school and never wanted to go to college. What would he do if he had to stay here in this backwater town that would snuff out his dreams, chew him up and spit him out? Eddie retreats in on himself and his thoughts, mood soured until it was time for them to leave. Richie looks over at him like he wants to say something, his mouth slightly open, but thinks better of it and tells him he’ll see him later, alright? Eddie nods and begins the long bike ride home, knowing the real fight would actually begin.

  
  


***

  
  


His mother took it about as well as he’d expected.

There had been happiness, excitement even, at first when she realized he’d gotten a letter back from a college. “Oh Eddiebear, I just  _ knew _ you’d get in, you’re such a smart young boy!” she exclaimed with a tight, smothering hug and a pinch of his cheeks. He was taller than her now, but she still domineered over him, making him shrink back as if he were a small child and not an almost-adult. Her face had dropped when she saw the letter, expression blank. “New York?” Watery brown eyes met his, incredulous, disbelieving, wounded. “New York City?”

“Yeah Mom, I got accepted to NYU,” he replies, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“B-But Eddiebear, that’s so far away!” He cringes at the nickname, his skin crawling. He  _ hates  _ that name. “I mean, I’m proud of you for getting accepted, but why not apply to some medical schools in Maine? New York is just so...so dirty, and dangerous, a-and far away from me! I’d be worried sick!”

_ Dangerous? As opposed to this place? _ She had no idea what he had gone through as a kid underneath these very streets, how he had actually broken his arm (they had ended up telling her that Henry Bowers had attacked him, that the rest of the Losers had saved him, and later when Bowers had been convicted of the murders of all those missing kids, his friends Vic and Belch, even his own dad, she had forgiven his friends, praising them for being  _ so brave _ and saving her precious son from such a monster), what he continued to go through living here as a closeted gay kid. He swallowed and shook his head. “I’m sorry Mom, but I’m going. There aren’t any schools nearby that work for me, and NYU is one of the best medical schools in New England or even the country. I thought you’d be happy for me.” He knew that was a lie, that she’d forbid him to go like she was trying to now, but anger had begun to burn inside him. It was such bullshit.  _ Gazebos, you might say. _ The memory almost makes him smile, but he doesn’t change his expression. “I’m meeting up with Ben and Bill to apply for scholarships tomorrow, and I’ve already started saving up for an apartment.”

Of course she resorted to crying to try and guilt him into staying, face red and chest heaving, wailing about how he was abandoning her and how alone she’d be. Eddie, frankly, didn’t give a shit, and finished his dinner before walking upstairs to finish his homework. She abruptly shut off the crocodile tears, watching him leave, and sat in her tiny recliner to watch her soaps until it was time for bed.

Hours later Eddie was still awake, anxious thoughts holding him hostage despite the exhaustion that tried to drag him away. He jumps at the sudden  _ click click _ against the side of the house. “What the hell?” he grumbles, getting up to investigate. His sweater and sweatpants hung from his delicate frame as he pulled the curtains back from the open window to reveal Richie looking up at him, still wearing the same clothes from earlier that day. “Richie? What’re you doing?” His voice is low, almost a whisper, and he glances at the door to listen for any indication that his mother had heard them.

“I wanted to see you.” The statement brought a blush to Eddie’s cheeks and he was thankful that it was too dark for Richie to see. “How’d it go with your mom? Can I come up?” Eddie holds up a finger in a  _ one second _ gesture and silently rushes downstairs to let Richie in. Fingers slip easily through his as Eddie leads him through the dark house, even though Richie had snuck in enough times to know where everything was. Tiptoeing past Sonia’s room, they pause to listen to her deep snores and confirm that she’s asleep before continuing to his bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

“Dude, its so late,” Eddie fusses, sitting at the head of his bed with his legs tucked underneath him. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Richie teases back, plopping down in front of him, close enough for their knees to touch.

“That’s fair.” Eddie sighs, rubbing his face. “Mom didn’t take it well. Like, at all. I knew she wouldn’t but still. And now I can’t sleep because I keep thinking...I know I got in, but what if I don’t make it in the big city? In nursing school or becoming a doctor later on? I dunno, maybe it was a stupid idea.”

“Shut up Eds,” Richie snorts, rolling his eyes. “You’re gonna be a great nurse and doctor. Remember how you saved Ben’s life after Bowers tried to gut him? And no one would know more about prescription meds than you.” His voice is light, full of humor, and irritation sparks when Eddie realizes he isn’t being taken seriously.

“Okay first of all, I didn’t save his life,” he grumbles. “I just disinfected it and put a bandage on it. And secondly, medical school is a lot different than some back alley fake surgery. Or whatever that was.”

“Eddie, you’re being too hard on yourself.” Richie’s hands wrap around his, and he knows in the back of his mind that he should stop him, should pull away, but the warmth of his skin is too comforting for that. “They wouldn’t have accepted you if you weren’t good enough to go in the first place. They can tell that you’re special, that you’re worth it.” His thumb slides against Eddie’s knuckles and his eyes slide closed, memorizing the feeling of their skin brushing. “You’re so much smarter and braver than you give yourself credit for.” Eddie finally opens his eyes to meet Richie’s gaze. “I mean it. If any of us could make it, its you.”

Eddie looks away to study their hands clasped together, swallowing as he finally finds his voice. “I guess what I’m really worried about is how much I’ll miss you when I leave.” His heart pounds almost painfully, not looking up as he continues. “I know we’ll keep in touch, but I just think of you stuck in this shitty town while the rest of us leave one by one, and it just really hurts for me to think of you all alone.” The words are quiet, trembling, the unspoken  _ my heart will break when I go and you stay _ lodged in his throat.

Soft laughter makes his head snap up, eyes wide. “Eddie Spaghetti, I wanna take back everything I just said about you being smart, because that might just be the stupidest shit I’ve heard you say.” Anger flares as Richie dramatically wipes his eye before grinning up at him. “You’re not leaving me behind because I’m coming with you!”

Cool shock douses his body. “You’re what?” he breathes. Richie just stares at him. “What do you mean?”

“This town isn’t ready for my specific brand of comedy just yet. It’d blow their tiny little minds.” He nods sagely. “New York is the perfect place to make a name for myself, to get my big break.” He laughs again but Eddie can see the nervous light in his eyes, redness painting his cheeks and neck. “Besides, who’s gonna keep you outta trouble in the big city?”

Its Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes and shake his head. “I think you’ve got us mixed up,” he snorts. Richie grins guiltily. “What about your parents though?”

_ Shrug. _ “They wouldn’t give a shit. They hardly notice when I’m gone anyways. B-Besides.” He maneuvers their hand so their fingers lace together. “I’d miss you too much. You’re everything to me Eds. Always have been.” Their eyes lock and Eddie swears he could legitimately die of a heart attack then and there.  _ Wait. Is this what I think it is? _

“You mean that?” It's barely a whisper, his mouth dry and voice hiding inside him. Richie nods, never looking away, cerulean gaze nervous and hopeful and full of another emotion that Eddie recognizes right away, one that he wasn't expecting to find in Richie’s eyes. An emotion Eddie knows all too well.  _ Love.  _ He swallows before leaning forward to close the space between them, Richie meeting him halfway as their lips meet.

Richie lets go of his hand to cup Eddie’s face, their lips parting as the kiss deepens. He tastes exactly how Eddie dreamed he would, minty gum attempting to mask the sour aftertaste of cigarettes he bummed from Bev. Despite that, he’s sweet in a way he wouldn’t have expected, and Eddie groans softly as their tongues brush against each other. They break the kiss, Richie’s pupils blown wide as he strokes his thumb across Eddie’s jaw. They’re quiet for a few heartbeats before Eddie grins and presses another kiss to his mouth. “I didn’t think you’d feel the same way, but your poker face is absolute shit.” This makes Richie laugh and he shoves Eddie onto his back, laying down on his side next to him. “I’ve loved you since we were kids, since that summer. Is that too soon? Telling you I love you?”

Richie laughs again and kisses his temple, his cheek, his lips. “Nah, it's not too soon.” He wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist, holding him close. “I love you too. I always have.” His spare hand comes up to brush hair from his face. “That summer we killed It, I realized how strong and brave you were, even if you were such a tiny thing. I knew I wanted to be by your side always, wanted to take care of you even if you didn’t really need it.” Another kiss presses to his lips. “You’ve always believed in me too. Never pushed me away even if I was being a shit.”

“Well, you’re always a shit.” Richie pretends to be hurt, collapsing on top of Eddie’s chest. “But that’s why I love you.” They giggle, suddenly thirteen years old again and full of hope and excitement for the future. “Besides, I can’t go to New York City without my best friend. How stupid would that be?” Richie hums his agreement from where he lays, and this time it's Eddie who reaches out to run his fingers through the wild black curls, marvelling at their softness. They lay like that for a while, soaking in one another's presence, and when Richie begins to snore Eddie gently shakes him awake. “Stay the night with me, please? I have some sweatpants you can wear.” The other teen snorts as he climbs out of bed.

“I really don’t think they’ll fit, but I appreciate it.” He peels his shirt off and Eddie’s mouth goes dry, swallowing hard as his eyes follow the line of dark hair trailing from his belly button to underneath the waistband of his jeans.  _ Oh. _ Richie catches him staring and winks, pulling the belt out of the loop before climbing back into bed with him. “Aw Eds, you’re so red, so fucking cute, cute, cute!” He punctuates each  _ cute _ with a kiss to his cheek, giggling when Eddie protests and pulling him against his chest, arms wrapped around him. Richie kisses his forehead, murmuring a soft “I love you” as the day’s events finally catch up with him and sleep overtakes him. Eddie follows soon after, a smile on his face, knowing that everything was gonna be alright.


End file.
